I'm wondering whether everyone else knows as little about death as I do. I truly don't know what any of the impending signs are. I don't know what happens in the last moment, or even in the week leading up. I know it's wildly different disease by disease, but I really don't even know that range.
Earlier this week I ran into Gord, an old friend of mine who I met at my son's daycare 15 years ago. We got to talking about my career change, and he mentioned that he imagined that in old age he would want to do something similar to what we did for our young children. When our kids were little, we set up our own daycare in a home-based setting. We deliberately made it legal, but outside of the licensed daycare system supported and encouraged by the Ministry of Social Services (as it was then called).
So maybe we will set up a home-based home for elderly persons, and let the younger elderly persons take care of the older ones. We'll hire some kind of elderly worker to watch over everyone. Not necessarily a nurse or doctor, but rather someone who really likes old people. And have it be a place where we all take care of each other. Where we aren't afraid to talk about death and dying.
It doesn't have to have a unified spirituality among the elderly, but it does have to have a layer of honesty and connection that one rarely finds in seniors homes. You see, you can't live your whole life connected to other families and then expect to want anything different when confronting death and dying.
What would help me between now and then would be to go to a "pre-death" class with my husband, similar to what we went to when we found out we were pregnant for the first time. A series of classes that would tell us about what happens in death from a physiological perspective. But also one that would build in the excitement for the death experience for family relationships similar to the way Ina May Gaskin's book called Spiritual Midwifery inspired us with our first baby. For those of you who don't know this wonderful book, you should read it, whether you're pregnant or not. It's not about religion at all, but rather it describes child birth as an exciting family affair capable of transforming young adults into connected and caring parents. She inspired me to have a home birth for my son, with my husband, brother-in-law, and 2 step sons present at the birth, and with friends and parents arriving and helping out within hours. And our family has never been the same, for the good.
If you know of any good "pre-death" classes in Canada, let me know. I would sign up in a flash. I can't believe others don't also want to sign up and learn about this.
Earlier this week I ran into Gord, an old friend of mine who I met at my son's daycare 15 years ago. We got to talking about my career change, and he mentioned that he imagined that in old age he would want to do something similar to what we did for our young children. When our kids were little, we set up our own daycare in a home-based setting. We deliberately made it legal, but outside of the licensed daycare system supported and encouraged by the Ministry of Social Services (as it was then called).
So maybe we will set up a home-based home for elderly persons, and let the younger elderly persons take care of the older ones. We'll hire some kind of elderly worker to watch over everyone. Not necessarily a nurse or doctor, but rather someone who really likes old people. And have it be a place where we all take care of each other. Where we aren't afraid to talk about death and dying.
It doesn't have to have a unified spirituality among the elderly, but it does have to have a layer of honesty and connection that one rarely finds in seniors homes. You see, you can't live your whole life connected to other families and then expect to want anything different when confronting death and dying.
What would help me between now and then would be to go to a "pre-death" class with my husband, similar to what we went to when we found out we were pregnant for the first time. A series of classes that would tell us about what happens in death from a physiological perspective. But also one that would build in the excitement for the death experience for family relationships similar to the way Ina May Gaskin's book called Spiritual Midwifery inspired us with our first baby. For those of you who don't know this wonderful book, you should read it, whether you're pregnant or not. It's not about religion at all, but rather it describes child birth as an exciting family affair capable of transforming young adults into connected and caring parents. She inspired me to have a home birth for my son, with my husband, brother-in-law, and 2 step sons present at the birth, and with friends and parents arriving and helping out within hours. And our family has never been the same, for the good.
If you know of any good "pre-death" classes in Canada, let me know. I would sign up in a flash. I can't believe others don't also want to sign up and learn about this.
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